Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 228.
Burnout can build gradually. We may spend months dealing with difficult people, an unreasonable workload, organizational bureaucracy, problems we can’t seem to solve, or the feeling that no matter how much we get done, there is always something else waiting for us. Eventually, we may notice that we’re more irritable, less motivated, dreading parts of our work, or simply feeling exhausted by things that we used to handle much more easily.
When we’re feeling burned out, EFT can give us a way to start working through some of what has accumulated. I often describe this as giving the microphone to whatever we’re thinking and feeling about our work. Rather than trying to convince ourselves to be more positive or grateful, we can tap while allowing ourselves to acknowledge what has been frustrating, draining, disappointing, or overwhelming.
At the same time, it can be helpful to make the tapping a little more bite-sized and focused by choosing a specific moment rather than trying to work on everything we dislike about our job at once. We might choose a recent time when something happened at work that bothered us, or imagine the next time we’re likely to encounter the same situation. This gives us a particular moment to tune into while still allowing whatever thoughts and feelings we have about it to get the microphone.
For example, perhaps every interaction with your boss has started to irritate you. Rather than tapping on your relationship with your boss as a whole, you might think of a recent interaction that particularly bothered you. Maybe yesterday you asked for help with a problem and he responded in a way that left you feeling even more frustrated:
“When I remember asking him for help yesterday and hearing him say, ‘You’ll have to figure it out yourself’, I’m so frustrated. I already have enough to deal with, and I can’t believe he said that. And this is where I’m at right now”.
Or perhaps the biggest source of frustration is the bureaucracy surrounding your work. You could choose a recent moment when you had to spend an hour filling out paperwork instead of doing the work you actually wanted to be doing:
“When I think about sitting at my desk yesterday filling out all those forms, I feel so frustrated. This isn’t what I want to spend my time doing, and I’m so tired of all this paperwork. And this is where I’m at right now”.
We can also tap while imagining the next time we’ll have to deal with the same trigger. If there’s a meeting every Monday morning that we’ve started dreading, for example, we can imagine ourselves walking into next Monday’s meeting and notice what comes up:
“When I imagine sitting in that meeting again next Monday and listening to everyone argue about the same problems, I already feel exhausted. I really don’t want to be there, and this is where I’m at right now”.
What Has Been Accumulating?
Burnout may involve many different aspects of our work, which is why “I’m burned out” can sometimes be too broad a target for tapping. We can certainly begin by giving the microphone to everything we think and feel about being burned out, especially if that’s what feels most accessible. But from there, it can be helpful to ask ourselves: What are some specific moments that have contributed to me feeling this way?
Perhaps there was a conversation with a coworker that left us angry for the rest of the day. Maybe there was a particular afternoon when we looked at everything on our to-do list and thought, “I can’t keep doing this”. We might remember a client or customer becoming upset because we couldn’t solve their problem, or the moment our boss added another responsibility when we already felt overwhelmed.
Each of these gives us a smaller piece of the larger experience to work with. We can choose one moment, give the microphone to whatever we think and feel as we remember it (one emotion at a time, if possible), and see what happens as we tap. Once the charge around that particular event has shifted, we can move on to another one.
Sometimes a specific moment will also lead us somewhere we weren’t expecting. While tapping on yesterday’s conversation with our boss, for example, we might suddenly think, “I’m so tired of always having to be the responsible one”, or remember a previous job where we felt similarly overwhelmed. We don’t have to ignore those connections because they weren’t part of our original target. They may give us useful clues about another aspect we want to explore.
We Can Also Tap on the Parts of Ourselves That Keep Pushing
Sometimes the pressure isn’t only coming from the job itself. We may also have strong beliefs about how we are supposed to perform within it.
“I should be able to handle this”.
“I can’t disappoint anyone”.
“I have to get everything done”.
“If I say no, they’ll think I’m difficult”.
“I shouldn’t need a break”.
“If I don’t do it myself, it won’t be done properly”.
These thoughts can also be given the microphone while we tap. We don’t have to decide whether they’re rational before working with them. If the thought “I can’t disappoint anyone” carries emotional charge, for example, we can become curious about what feels so threatening about disappointing someone and look for a specific situation where that fear shows up.
Maybe our manager recently asked us to take on another project when our schedule was already full. We wanted to say no, but found ourselves agreeing almost automatically. We could return to that particular moment while tapping and notice what was going through our mind:
“When I remember her asking me to take on that project and I think about how badly I wanted to say no, but I was afraid she’d think I wasn’t committed enough if I refused, I feel trapped. And I feel it like a tightness in the center of my chest. And this is where I’m at right now”.
Following a specific experience like this may eventually lead us to other beliefs or memories. Perhaps saying no brings up guilt. Maybe asking for help feels like admitting that we’re incompetent. Delegating might make us anxious because we don’t trust anyone else to do the work properly. Or we may be afraid that slowing down will somehow reveal that we’re falling behind.
Once we begin following these reactions, burnout can sometimes lead us into beliefs and patterns that extend beyond the immediate work situation.
What Would You Want to Change If You Felt Free to Change It?
Processing some of the accumulated emotional charge can also create space for another question: Is there anything about the way I’m currently working that I would actually like to do differently?
The answer won’t always be yes. Some work environments give us very little control, and tapping can’t make an unreasonable workload reasonable or remove organizational problems that really exist. Still, there may be areas where we do have some flexibility but haven’t felt able to use it.
For example, someone who works for themselves might realize, “I don’t want to have this many appointments every week. I’d rather raise my fees and work fewer hours”.
That realization doesn’t automatically make the change easy. As soon as they imagine raising their fees, another set of reactions might appear. They might worry that people will stop working with them, feel guilty about charging more, think about clients who are already struggling financially, or wonder whether they’re really worth the higher fee.
Once we’ve identified one of those concerns, we can make it more specific. For example, we might imagine sending an email to our clients letting them know about the new fee and notice what happens:
“When I imagine pressing send on that email and telling everyone that I’m raising my fees, I feel guilty. I keep thinking about the people who might not be able to afford it anymore, and this is where I’m at right now”.
Someone else might realize that they would feel considerably better if they rearranged their schedule. Perhaps they would prefer not to schedule meetings first thing in the morning, want to keep one afternoon free each week, or need more time between appointments. Imagining actually making that change might bring up fears about inconveniencing other people, losing opportunities, or appearing less committed.
Again, we can make the imagined situation specific. What happens when you picture yourself telling your manager that you want to change your schedule? What do you imagine them saying? Which particular part of that conversation makes you uncomfortable? We can choose one of those moments and give whatever comes up the microphone while we tap.
Sometimes the Change Involves Other People
Burnout can also make us aware of working relationships that have become increasingly stressful.
Imagine that you run a small business and have someone helping you with administrative work. Over time, you’ve realized that supervising this person creates more work than it saves. Deadlines are repeatedly missed, you have to check everything they do, and every time you see another message from them you feel your body tense.
Part of you may know that you’d rather end the working relationship and hire someone else. Another part may feel terrible about doing that. You might worry about hurting them, feel responsible for their financial situation, wonder whether you haven’t given them enough chances, or simply dread having the conversation.
Rather than trying to resolve the entire decision at once, we could choose one particular aspect. Perhaps the most emotionally charged part is imagining the conversation itself:
“When I imagine sitting across from her and telling her that this arrangement isn’t working anymore, I feel so guilty. I can picture the look on her face, and part of me feels like I’m doing something terrible. And this is where I’m at right now”.
As we tap, we might discover that the guilt changes, another concern comes up, or a memory comes to mind of another time when we had to disappoint someone. We can follow whatever has emotional charge rather than deciding beforehand where the process needs to go.
Reducing some of that charge doesn’t tell us what decision to make. It may give us a little more room to consider the situation without guilt or anxiety taking up so much of the microphone.
What If the Change Isn’t Possible Right Now?
Of course, we don’t always have the option of changing the circumstances contributing to burnout.
We may need the income from our current job. We may be working in an organization where we have little control over our schedule or workload. There may be responsibilities we really cannot delegate, or a difficult boss we can’t simply replace.
That reality can become part of the tapping too. We might work with a recent moment when we felt particularly trapped, the fear that comes up when we imagine leaving, the sadness of realizing that the job isn’t what we hoped it would be, or the frustration of knowing what would help while being unable to do it right now.
Sometimes there may also be smaller changes available within a situation we can’t completely change. After some of the emotional intensity comes down, we might notice that there is one boundary we could set, one task we could stop volunteering for, one conversation we’ve been avoiding, or one expectation of ourselves that could become a little more flexible.
And if making that smaller change brings up fear, guilt, or resistance, we can make that specific too. We might imagine the moment when we say no, send the email, ask for help, or tell someone that we won’t be available. Whatever part of that imagined scene carries the most charge gives us somewhere to begin.
Burnout Can Give Us a Lot to Listen To
When we’re burned out, it’s understandable to want to feel motivated and energized again as quickly as possible. But there may be quite a lot underneath the exhaustion that hasn’t had much opportunity to be heard.
We can give the microphone to the frustration with our boss, the resentment about our workload, the dread of Monday morning, the disappointment about problems we haven’t been able to solve, and the part of us that is simply tired of doing this. Choosing one specific moment at a time can make that process more manageable, while still leaving plenty of room for whatever thoughts, feelings, memories, or other aspects emerge as we tap.
As some of that emotional charge shifts, we can also become curious about what we would like our working life to look like if we had more room to choose. Perhaps there is nothing obvious to change yet. Perhaps there is a change we’ve known for months that we want to make, but fear or guilt keeps getting in the way.
Either way, we can start with one manageable piece of whatever is asking for the microphone today and follow the process from there.
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That said, when we’re feeling burned out, there can be many different experiences contributing to how we feel, and it isn’t always easy to know which one to focus on when tapping by ourselves. It can also be difficult to separate what we need to process emotionally from the changes we may want to make in our work. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.
If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.
