Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 148.
Emotions often carry a message, much like the dashboard lights in a car alert us to important information. Just as a blinking light might tell us to check the oil or refill the gas tank, our emotions are signals trying to convey something important. However, unlike a car’s dashboard, the meaning behind our emotions isn’t always so obvious. This is because our emotional responses can be influenced by both present circumstances and unresolved experiences from our past.
Decoding Emotional Signals: Present or Past?
Let’s consider an example: Imagine you’ve just started a new romantic relationship. Out of the blue, you begin to feel fearful or insecure, suspecting your partner might not be entirely honest with you. This emotional signal could mean a couple of things:
1. A Present Warning: The fear might be a response to subtle cues or red flags in your current relationship—perhaps inconsistencies in what they’ve shared or behaviors that feel out of alignment.
2. A Reflection of the Past: Alternatively, this fear might be about unresolved wounds from previous experiences, such as being hurt in past relationships or a history of mistrust stemming from your relationship with your parents or their relationship with each other.
Sometimes, it’s a mix of both, with current circumstances triggering unhealed wounds from the past.
The Importance of Listening to Emotions
While emotions like fear, insecurity, or sadness can feel unpleasant, uncomfortable, or even overwhelming, their purpose isn’t to torment us. Instead, they’re asking us to pay attention. The key isn’t to bypass or suppress these feelings, but rather to stay present with them long enough to uncover their message.
Their message might:
• Warn us about something in our present environment.
• Highlight unresolved emotional experiences from our past.
• Or be a combination of both.
Using EFT to Explore Emotional Messages
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) offers a gentle way to engage with our emotions and their messages. It starts with addressing how we feel in the present moment while thinking about a specific situation. This can provide clarity about whether the emotions are rooted in the present or are echoes of the past.
Using the example of feeling insecure in a new relationship, EFT might look something like this:
1. Tap on the Current Circumstances: Focus on how you feel right now. For instance:
“Even though I have this fear that my partner is not being honest with me, when I remember the conversation I had with him last night, and I feel this fear in my chest, this is where I’m at right now.”
2. Peel Back the Layers: As you tap, you might start gaining insights into what’s driving the fear. Perhaps a memory of a past relationship surfaces, where you were lied to or betrayed. You could then tap on that memory, using a phrase like:
“Even though I feel this sadness in my chest when I remember how I was hurt in my last relationship, when I found out I was being cheated on, this is where I’m at right now.”
3. Clarify the Message: With time and continued tapping, you may notice whether the current fear is primarily about your new partner or more about your past. Either way, EFT helps create a sense of calm and clarity, making it easier to discern the next steps.
Final Thoughts
Our emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”—they’re signals meant to guide us. By staying present with them and exploring their messages, we can better understand ourselves and our circumstances. EFT is a powerful tool for doing this work, allowing us to process emotions gently and effectively. Whether the message is about the present or the past, giving these emotions the attention they deserve can lead to greater clarity and resilience.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers in a way that feels safe and tailored to your unique needs.
What messages have your emotions been trying to tell you lately? If you’d like support in exploring and processing them, feel free to reach out.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.