Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 128.
Transference and countertransference are phenomena that tend to occur in every therapeutic or coaching relationship. These concepts are related to the dynamics between the client and practitioner. Today, I’ll focus on transference.
The most common definition of “transference” is when the patient or client projects or “transfers” feelings, thoughts, or experiences from past relationships onto their therapist. This happens because our past is always influencing our perception of the present in one way or another. We are constantly reminded (even if we are not consciously aware of it) of past experiences we’ve had with other people in our lives.
Think of all the times someone might “rub you the wrong way” without any apparent reason. Chances are you are “transferring” onto them something from the past.
The same can happen to us with our clients. We could say that transference occurs when a client’s part transfers its feelings, thoughts, or expectations from past relationships or experiences onto us. It’s not something they are doing on purpose.
For example:
– Someone who is used to feeling judged by other people (parents, friends, romantic partners, previous practitioners) might understandably fear that we might do the same thing.
– Someone who feels like other people try to control them or tell them what to do might project that expectation onto us.
– Someone who is used to others disapproving or rejecting their “negative feelings” might fear our disapproval.
– Someone who has experienced being scammed or taken advantage of might be wary of us doing the same.
It’s understandable in all of these cases that maybe a part of them is going to expect us to do the same thing.
“Maneuvering transference” means becoming aware of those patterns in our client’s lives and acting in a way that doesn’t confirm them. In other words, we should try to act in a manner that isn’t perceived by our client as judging, controlling, or taking advantage of them.
By being mindful of transference and how it might manifest in our sessions, we can create a safer, more supportive environment for our clients. This awareness helps us to better navigate the therapeutic relationship and support our clients’ healing and growth.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. My approach is compassionate and tailored to your unique experiences and needs.
What do you think about this approach? Have you noticed transference in your therapeutic or coaching relationships? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback is crucial for shaping our discussions. Please share your thoughts below or reach out to me directly.
