Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 208.
Have you ever noticed yourself reacting strongly to something that, on the surface, seems minor?
It might be a comment someone made, a mistake you made, a message that felt slightly off, or a small inconvenience during the day. Part of you might recognize that the reaction feels bigger than the situation itself, and that can sometimes lead to confusion or even self judgment.
In many cases, what is happening in moments like these has less to do with the present situation alone, and more to do with something from the past that is being activated.
You can think of it as an older emotional charge that is still unresolved. When something in the present resembles that earlier experience, even in a subtle way, it can act as a kind of hook. The current situation gives that older emotional charge something to attach to, and the reaction that follows can feel disproportionate to what is happening now.
When working with clients, I often notice that there can be some concern about tapping on these “small” triggers. It can feel like a waste of time, especially when the situation seems insignificant.
But tapping on how you feel about the current trigger can be very valuable.
Sometimes, by staying with the present situation and tapping on the emotional charge it brings up, you could actually also be processing something from your past. This is often referred to as “the generalization effect”. Even though you are focusing on the current event, older layers may be processing in the background.
Other times, as you tap, specific memories from the past may come to mind. When that happens, you have the option to work more directly with those experiences, if it feels appropriate.
In both cases, the starting point is the same. We work with the unpleasant emotional charge that is present right now, when we think about the situation. A possible structure for our tapping phrases could be something like “When I think about X, I feel Y. And this is where I’m at right now”.
Before doing that, it can also be helpful to notice whether there is any self judgment about your reaction. Thoughts like “why am I reacting like this?” or “this is such a minor thing, I shouldn’t feel this way” can add another layer of tension, and make it harder for the other emotions to get unstuck.
If that is present, you can begin by giving the microphone to that self judgment. A possible setup statement could be something like: “When I think about how this situation is making me feel, why does it have to feel like such a big deal? I shouldn’t feel this way. And this is where I’m at right now”.
As that layer softens, it often becomes easier to approach the underlying emotional reaction with more acceptance. The more you can allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and to think what you are thinking, the more effective the tapping tends to be.
What may look like an overreaction on the surface can sometimes be an entry point into something that is asking to be processed.
By taking a few minutes to tap on what you are feeling in the present, even if the trigger seems small, you create an opportunity to shine the torch on what might be needing your attention the most right now.
That said, it’s not always easy to do this on our own. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.
If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.
