Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 207.
In a recent article, I wrote about how helpful it can be to give the microphone to anger while tapping. A similar approach can be applied to sadness.
Sadness is often something we try to move away from. We distract ourselves, try to think differently, or look for ways to feel better as quickly as possible. While that can make sense in certain moments, it can also leave a kind of emotional residue behind.
From time to time, I notice a buildup of sadness.
It might be triggered by a mental image, a song, a movie scene, or something that came up in a dream. Other times, it can be connected to more reflective thoughts, like remembering the past, feeling nostalgic, or becoming aware that time is passing and that we are all getting older.
When I notice this, I sometimes take a few minutes to tap while allowing myself to feel that sadness.
There is no need to force anything. Sometimes tears come up, sometimes they don’t. The intention is simply to allow the experience to be there, to whatever degree feels possible, and to let the thoughts and feelings unfold as they are, without trying to make them go away.
After a few minutes, I often notice a shift.
There can be a sense of lightness, or more space internally, almost like there is more room to breathe. Along with that, there is often a natural sense of appreciation for the good things in my life. This is not something I try to generate, it tends to emerge on its own.
This approach has helped me personally reduce the intensity and frequency of sadness. When it does show up, it feels more manageable and tends to pass more quickly.
At the same time, different people respond differently to different approaches. It is important to go at your own pace and only explore this if it feels manageable for your system.
If the experience becomes too intense, you can think of it like a cup of tea that has become too hot. In that case, it can be helpful to gently step back and allow things to cool down. One way to do this is by shifting your attention to something that feels neutral, pleasant, or even a bit boring. This can help your nervous system receive cues of safety while you continue tapping or take a pause.
On the other hand, there are moments when it can feel difficult to connect with the sadness at all. In those cases, it can be helpful to use a kind of “prop”. Listening to a song that has moved you in the past, or revisiting a scene from a movie that resonates with your own experiences, can help bring the feeling closer in a gentle way.
Over time, this kind of practice can help increase our capacity to sit with sadness while also allowing it to be processed.
And in doing so, sadness can begin to feel less like something we need to avoid, and more like something we can relate to in a friendlier way.
That said, it’s not always easy to do this on our own. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.
If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.
