Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 123.
Silent tapping can be incredibly useful for those moments when the emotional intensity feels too high and no words are necessary because we are already “tuned in” to our feelings. There are two different ways I use it with my clients, and I’d like to share these approaches with you today.
The first way is to simply tap silently while I mention the points. This isn’t because my clients don’t know the points already, but so they can hear the sound of my voice, which hopefully has a “co-regulating” quality, helping them feel more anchored to the present moment. As we tap silently, the client might (or might not) continue to focus their mind on whatever it is they were focusing on before when we were tapping and saying phrases out loud, allowing themselves to feel whatever they are feeling.
For example, if a client was initially tapping while talking about a stressful event, they can continue to think about that event silently while tapping. My voice guides them through the points, creating a calming presence that helps them stay grounded. This method helps maintain the connection and offers a sense of support without the need for words.
The second way is particularly useful when the emotional intensity is even higher. In this case, I invite the client to shift some of their attention away from distressing thoughts or mental images and instead focus on something neutral or pleasant. This could be the sensation of their fingertips doing the tapping, the sound of my voice, something pleasant to look at in the room, or feeling the weight of their feet on the ground. This approach is called “Orienting Tapping,” as in “orienting to the here and now”. It tends to send cues of safety to the nervous system, helping it return to a regulated state.
Alternatively, we can also invite our clients to think about something calming or enjoyable, such as their favorite food, TV show, or a song they enjoy. This technique is known as “Resourcing”, which also helps send cues of safety to the nervous system. By shifting focus to these pleasant thoughts or sensations, clients can find a sense of calm and stability even during high emotional intensity.
Different people have different preferences. For example, some of my clients, in those moments when they start crying, like to just tap silently and find the “orienting tapping” to be distracting, as if trying to pretend they are not feeling what they are feeling. They prefer to just tap silently (while I guide them through the points), allowing themselves to feel and think whatever they are thinking and feeling until the emotional intensity subsides (which usually happens after two or three rounds).
Other clients, especially when working on traumatic memories, find it very useful to bring in some Resourcing and/or Orienting tapping every now and then to help “titrate” or dose the work, so it doesn’t become too overwhelming.
These methods of silent tapping provide flexibility and adaptability in EFT practice, allowing clients to navigate their emotional experiences in a way that feels safe and supportive.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. My approach is compassionate and tailored to your unique experiences and needs.
What do you think about these approaches? Have you ever tried silent tapping or used similar techniques with your clients? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback is crucial for shaping our discussions. Please share your thoughts below or reach out to me directly.
