Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 122.
When feeling anxious about any kind of public performance, such as speaking in public or singing in front of an audience, there’s an aspect that’s particularly useful to address with EFT. This aspect is to imagine other people’s potentially negative comments afterwards, as if you were a fly on the wall listening to them.
You can do this whether we are talking about a performance that has already taken place and didn’t go quite as well as you would have liked, or an imaginary future one. Part of the reason why we might feel afraid of having to sing, talk, compete, etc. in front of an audience has to do with fearing their judgment. So, what specific comments about you or your performance are you afraid they might be making to each other?
Let’s say, for example, that yesterday you had to give a presentation at work, and you feel like it wasn’t as good as you would have liked. Allow yourself to “go there” and consider what negative comments the people who listened to it might have made afterwards. Then notice how you feel now as you think about that.
For example, you might tap using a phrase such as: “Even though I feel really embarrassed when I imagine my coworkers saying ‘Oh my God, he was the worst, he had no idea what he was talking about, I can’t believe they chose him to give this presentation’, and I feel this embarrassment in my chest, this is just where I’m at right now.”
Or let’s say that you are taking singing lessons and next week you have to sing in front of your classmates, and you are worried they might think you didn’t sing very well. You might then use a phrase such as: “Even though I feel afraid, when I imagine my classmates thinking ‘Wow, I can’t believe she thought that would sound good, is she deaf or something?’, that would be so humiliating if they thought that about me! And I feel this fear in my throat area, this is just where I’m at right now.”
By diminishing the emotional charge around these imaginary judgments, it’s likely that you will feel less triggered by the possibility of them taking place, and this will allow you to feel more free to perform with fewer fears and inhibitions.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. My approach is compassionate and tailored to your unique experiences and needs.
What do you think about this approach? Have you ever tried tapping on “what they might say to each other afterwards”? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback can help shape our discussions. Please share your thoughts below or reach out to me directly.
