Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 132.
When practicing EFT, many of us have encountered moments where we feel stuck, discouraged, or unsure why it’s not working as well as we hoped. After years of practicing EFT, I’ve come across a few key insights that can help make the process more effective. Today, I’d like to share some of those tips, inspired by a conversation I recently had on Reddit.
One key idea is that EFT works best when we tap on how we feel in the present moment. This means focusing on the emotions or sensations that are coming up right now as we think about a past event or anticipate a future scenario. Even when we’re tapping on an old memory or a future worry, the real focus is how we’re feeling now when we think about those experiences.
For example, let’s say I recall a frightening situation from many years ago. Today, when I think about it, I might notice that it makes me feel sad. That’s where the tapping begins—with the sadness I’m feeling right now, even if the memory is from a long time ago. After tapping on that sadness, I might notice another layer, such as the fear I felt back then resurfacing. At this point, I can shift my focus and tap on the fear I’m feeling now about that memory. It’s a process of peeling back the layers and meeting the emotions as they arise, layer by layer.
Another tip that has been helpful for many people is simplifying the language we use while tapping. EFT often involves phrases like “Even though I feel __, I deeply and completely accept myself.” While this setup works well for many, it’s important to recognize that the words are there to help us tune in to the emotional charge we’re working on. Sometimes, though, the words can become a distraction, taking us out of the emotion we’re trying to address.
In some cases, you don’t even need to say the words aloud. Just holding the feeling in your mind and tapping can work very well. The key is to stay tuned in to the emotion or thought that holds the charge.
For instance, let’s say I had a recent argument at work, and I keep thinking, “This is so unfair!” I can tap on that thought, without necessarily naming the emotions that are behind it. It’s like I’m implicitly tapping on whatever emotion I have about that thought without necessarily naming it. This is useful, especially if trying to determine the right “label” for the emotion takes me too much into my head. The statement itself (“this is so unfair!”) carries the emotional charge. If, after one or more rounds of tapping, I feel more neutral about it, then I know the tapping has done its job.
Everyone’s experience with EFT is unique, and these are just a couple of ideas that might help you get more out of your tapping practice. By focusing on the present moment and simplifying the words you use, you can make EFT a more intuitive and effective tool for managing emotional intensity.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. My approach is compassionate and tailored to your unique experiences and needs.
What are your thoughts on these tips? Have you tried tapping without the script or focusing on present feelings? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback is crucial for shaping our discussions. Please share your thoughts below or reach out to me directly.
