Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 60.
As you may know, the standard or default way that EFT is taught is to begin each tapping round by tapping on the side of the hand while saying something along the lines of: “Even though as I think about… I feel… I deeply and completely accept myself”.
However, some people don’t resonate with the phrase “I deeply and completely accept myself” because at least a part of them doesn’t feel that phrase is true for them. Or it might feel too forceful or artificial. That’s why, like I explained in this article, we can use more neutral alternatives to that phrase, the most neutral of them being: “And this is what I’m noticing right now”.
So, for example, if we were to use a phrase such as: “Even though, when I remember the work meeting I had yesterday, the way my boss spoke to me, I feel really irritated in my chest, and this is what I’m noticing right now”, couldn’t we just leave out the words “Even though?”. In other words, is it possible to do EFT without using the words “Even though”? Yes, indeed.
Before I tell you what phrase we could use instead, let’s explore a bit more some of the reasons why sometimes we might want to leave out the words “Even though” when tapping by ourselves or with a client.
The first reason is that from a language point of view it doesn’t make much sense to begin the setup statement with “Even though” if we are going to end it with a neutral statement such as “and this is what I’m noticing right now”. “Even though” is better paired with phrases such as “I accept myself”, “I accept what I’m feeling”, etcetera.
The other reason is that a part of us might feel that saying the words “Even though” before describing our feelings presuppose some kind of judgment towards them. Or even some kind of judgment towards the part of us that has those feelings.
So, if you find that one or more parts of you feel that way, or you are working with a client, and maybe one or more parts of your client feels that way, a very neutral alternative phrase to start a tapping round could be something like this:
“Right now I notice that when I think about… (the work meeting I had yesterday with my boss), I feel… (really irritated in my chest), and this is what I’m noticing right now”.
Or if you want an even shorter phrase:
“When I think about… (the work meeting I had yesterday with my boss), in this moment I feel… (really irritated in my chest), and this is what I’m noticing right now”.
So, you see how we can still maintain the essence of EFT (tapping on the points while focusing on how we are feeling now about something specific) while playing a bit with the wording. In this way, we can suit the preferences of the different parts of us (or our clients) who might not really resonate with the traditional phrase of “Even though… I deeply and completely accept myself”.
That’s it for today. I hope this article was helpful. My name is Bruno Sade, and I’m a certified EFT practitioner with a mental health background as a clinical psychologist licensed in Argentina. I use EFT as a tool to help people (who speak English or Spanish) change their negative emotional reactions and triggers.
And, I’d love to know: Have you ever done EFT without saying “even though”? Do you have any questions or comments about what I wrote? Is there any particular topic you’d like me to write about? I’d love to know in the comments below.