Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 216.
We all experience unpleasant emotions from time to time. Sometimes they are understandable reactions to difficult situations, and other times they seem to come out of nowhere. A comment, a facial expression, or a seemingly minor event suddenly triggers a strong emotional response of anger, fear, grief, shame, or disappointment.
Very often, these reactions have to do with what we commonly call “triggers.” Something in the present reminds our nervous system of an emotionally charged experience from the past, even if we are not consciously aware of the connection.
At first, these emotional reactions may be quite specific. Perhaps they only happen in certain situations or with certain people. But if we never give ourselves an opportunity to safely process those emotions, they can gradually begin to take up more space in our lives.
Over time, we may notice that the reactions become more frequent, more intense, or last longer than they used to. The emotional charge remains unresolved, and because it has not been given a chance to move through us, it keeps looking for opportunities to be expressed.
This can affect many different areas of life.
Relationships are often one of the first places where we notice the impact. During moments of emotional activation, we may say or do things that we later regret. A conversation that could have been resolved calmly instead turns into an argument because one or both people have become emotionally overwhelmed.
The effects are not limited to relationships. Unprocessed emotions can also influence the way we think. Some people find themselves having repetitive, intrusive thoughts that are difficult to ignore. Those thoughts can interfere with work, hobbies, or simply enjoying the present moment. Much of their persistence comes from the emotional charge attached to them.
Our bodies can also be affected. Emotional stress does not cause every physical symptom or medical condition, and it is important not to assume that it does. At the same time, there is good evidence that stress can contribute to certain physical problems, and many people notice improvements in symptoms such as muscle tension, headaches, or digestive discomfort as their emotional stress decreases.
When unpleasant emotions remain unaddressed, they often become more disruptive with time.
The encouraging part is that beginning to address them does not necessarily require hours of work every day. Even spending a few minutes tapping can make a meaningful difference, especially if those minutes are spent giving the microphone to whatever thoughts, emotions, or body sensations are asking most strongly for our attention. For some people, combining a brief daily tapping practice with sessions alongside a skilled practitioner once a week or even twice a month provides enough support to begin creating lasting change.
One analogy that I often use is the idea of a town hall meeting.
Imagine that someone attending the meeting has been trying to speak for a long time, but every time they raise their hand, they are ignored because they are considered too negative, too emotional, or too disruptive. Eventually, that person is likely to become frustrated. They may interrupt the meeting, shout louder, or find another way to be heard.
Our emotions can behave in a similar way.
When we repeatedly refuse to acknowledge them, they often become more persistent. Giving them the microphone, while tapping and staying within a level of activation that feels manageable for our nervous system, allows those emotions to finally express what they have been trying to communicate.
Another metaphor that I find helpful is to imagine a large ship crossing the ocean.
The direction the ship is pointing today represents the course our emotional life will naturally continue to follow if nothing changes. Every time we spend a few minutes processing an emotionally charged memory, thought, or feeling through tapping, we make a very small adjustment to the ship’s direction. One adjustment may seem insignificant, but over time those small adjustments can gradually lead to a very different destination.
As that happens, our emotional reactions often become less frequent, less intense, and shorter lasting. We may find ourselves responding more thoughtfully during difficult conversations, enjoying daily activities with fewer intrusive thoughts, and feeling calmer in situations that previously felt overwhelming. Some people also notice improvements in aspects of their physical health, particularly when stress has been contributing to their symptoms.
I sometimes think of emotional processing as a long-term investment. One round of tapping rarely changes everything overnight. But if we spend a few minutes, day after day, giving the microphone to whatever thoughts, feelings, or body sensations are asking most strongly for our attention, those small moments of processing can gradually add up. Months later, we may look back and realize that situations which used to completely overwhelm us now feel much easier to navigate.
That said, when it comes to doing EFT, it’s not always easy to do it by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.
If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.