Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 169.
When something in our body or mind doesn’t feel right—whether it’s physical pain, chronic tension, insomnia, hair loss, or anxiety—we naturally want it to go away. We want relief. And one of the hopes people often have when trying EFT is: “Will this get rid of my symptom?”
The truth is, we never know in advance whether EFT will make a symptom disappear entirely. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it helps ease the intensity. And sometimes it doesn’t change the symptom itself, but it still brings tremendous relief.
Because what can almost always shift is what we emotionally pile on top of the symptom.
These are the thoughts, feelings, and judgments that add another layer of distress. The blame, the regret, the shame, the frustration—not just toward the situation, but often toward ourselves.
EFT offers us a powerful tool for working with those emotions, gently and effectively.
Tap on What You Blame
A good place to start is exploring: Is there anyone or anything I blame for this condition or problem?
This can include people from your past, difficult life events, or even yourself.
Let’s say you’re dealing with a health issue, and part of you feels like it only started because of something that went wrong in your career. You might tap on:
“When I think about how, if only I hadn’t been fired from my last job, maybe I wouldn’t be dealing with this problem now, I feel so angry toward my former boss. And I feel this anger in my chest. And this is just where I’m at right now.”
Or maybe there’s a strong sense of self-blame:
“When I remember being scammed like that, shortly before I started losing my hair, how could I be so stupid? I feel really disappointed in myself. And this is just where I’m at right now.”
By giving space to these thoughts and feelings—not to reinforce them, but to acknowledge them—we allow our nervous system to begin releasing the emotional charge they carry. And that can make a meaningful difference.
The Symptom Is Real. So Are the Emotions Around It.
This isn’t about pretending the symptom doesn’t exist or trying to “positive-think” our way around it. EFT isn’t about denial. It’s about validation.
It’s about saying: Yes, this hurts. Yes, this has been hard. Yes, I’m angry, or scared, or exhausted. And this is just where I’m at right now.
When we do that, we’re not only tending to the emotional burden we’re carrying, but we’re also reducing the likelihood of turning that burden against ourselves.
More Room to Heal
Whether or not the symptom improves, tapping on what we emotionally pile on top of it can bring more self-compassion, more peace, and reduce our overall sense of suffering.
And when we are no longer carrying so much judgment, blame, or fear, we’re more likely to make supportive choices, notice small signs of progress, and respond to our situation with a little more clarity.
Sometimes, that’s what healing or relief looks like: not fixing everything, but softening around it. Being a little more kind to ourselves while we go through it.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’ve never worked with me and you’d like to experience how this works in a session, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. It’s a no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it’s a good fit for you. Feel free to reach out if that interests you, or click here.