Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 168.
One of the most powerful things we can do with EFT is use it not to “get rid” of our feelings, but to sit with them.
That’s why I often encourage my clients to approach tapping with the intention of meeting themselves where they are. As if gently saying to a part of themselves:
“It’s okay to feel this way.”
“It makes sense that you feel this way.”
But here’s something that happens quite often, especially when we’re working on something tender. We start tapping to sit with one feeling or part, and suddenly… another one shows up. One that is not willing or able to sit with that feeling. One that seems to make things more complicated.
Let’s say you’re feeling sad or ashamed about something. You start tapping, and then a new voice appears inside:
“Why are you still upset about this?”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You should be past this already.”
Now you’re no longer just feeling sad. You’re also feeling judged. Maybe overwhelmed. Maybe even shut down.
This is a very human experience. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means there’s another part of you that also needs your attention.
Meeting the Second Part With Compassion
Rather than trying to ignore or bypass this new part—whether it’s the one judging or the one feeling overwhelmed—we can gently shift our focus and sit with her instead.
We might ask:
“What is this part trying to protect me from?”
“What is she afraid might happen if I let myself feel this sadness, shame, or fear?”
Often, that inner critic is trying (in its own way) to protect us from vulnerability. Or the overwhelm is trying to prevent us from going too deep, too fast. These parts aren’t enemies. They’re just trying to help us feel safe.
Even if we don’t know what their purpose is, EFT gives us the perfect tool to meet them with curiosity and care. And we can say to this part of us: “It’s okay to feel this way.” “It makes sense that you feel this way.”
You might tap and say something like:
“I notice there’s a part of me that’s judging how I feel, and this is just where I’m at right now.”
“I notice there’s a part of me that is feeling overwhelmed and wants to shut this all down, it makes sense to feel this way, and this is just where I’m at right now.”
By bringing compassion to the second part, we’re not abandoning the original one. We’re simply responding to what’s most alive in the moment, and that’s often what helps things begin to shift.
Growing Our Capacity
This process is a bit like emotional weightlifting. Every time we choose to stay with what’s present, without rushing it or trying to fix it, we expand our capacity to be with ourselves.
That includes the parts that feel hurt, the ones that feel scared, the ones that want to shut down, and the ones working hard to keep it all together.
EFT works best when we approach it as a practice of inclusion. A way to welcome every part of ourselves into the process. To tap not just on the first thing that arises, but also on whatever shows up next. With kindness.
If you’re finding this kind of work difficult to do on your own, that’s completely normal. Many of my clients have shared that tapping with a practitioner helps them stay more grounded and supported, especially when navigating emotional layers that can be hard to hold alone.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’ve never worked with me and you’d like to experience how this works in a session, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. It’s a no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it’s a good fit for you. Feel free to reach out if that interests you, or click here.
