Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 144.
When practicing EFT, it’s essential to pause and reassess after every one or two rounds of tapping. This pause helps us determine how we are feeling now and what to focus on next. Should we continue tapping on the same phrase, or has another layer of emotion or thought emerged that we can address?
However, whether tapping alone or with a practitioner, this moment of reassessment can sometimes feel anxiety-provoking. What if we don’t know what to tap on next? What if it feels like the tapping isn’t working or, even worse, that there’s something “wrong” with us for feeling the way we do?
Today, I’d like to share an analogy that might make this process feel a bit easier.
Looking Out the Window
What if we thought of this moment of stopping and reassessing as simply “looking out the window”? This window could represent our mind, body, past, or even just the present moment.
Sometimes, when we look out the window, we might see sunny weather—a clear sense of progress or relief. Other times, it might feel cloudy, stormy, or even foggy—indicative of confusion, discomfort, or uncertainty. And sometimes, it might feel like there’s nothing to see at all, as if the view is completely obscured.
Whatever we notice when we “look out the window” is okay. There’s no need for judgment or self-criticism about what we see (or don’t see). The process is about gently observing, not forcing clarity or outcomes.
The Fear of Looking
Sometimes, we might even feel hesitant or afraid to “look out the window,” worried about what we might see—or not see. That’s completely natural. In these moments, we can use Sneaking Up, an EFT technique designed for gentler processing. For instance, we might say:
“Even though I feel scared to think about this memory, this is just where I’m at right now.”
This acknowledgment allows us to honor where we are without forcing ourselves to dive into overwhelming feelings.
How It Works
When practicing EFT, we start by focusing on something specific—a memory, thought, or image related to the issue we want to address. We tap on how we feel in the present moment about that specific focus, using phrases like:
“Even though I feel nervous thinking about my presentation tomorrow, and I feel this tightness in my chest, this is where I’m at right now.”
After a round of tapping, we pause to reassess. This is the moment where we “look out the window.” What do we notice? Has the nervousness shifted or stayed the same? Has another feeling, like frustration or sadness, come to the forefront? Or does it feel like there’s a foggy uncertainty, where we’re not sure what’s there?
Whatever comes up—or doesn’t come up—we can use that as the focus for the next round of tapping. For instance:
- “Even though I’m still feeling this tightness in my chest when I think about my presentation tomorrow, this is just where I’m at right now.”
- “Even though I now feel frustrated with myself for being so nervous, this is where I’m at right now.”
- “Even though I don’t know what to focus on next, and it feels foggy and unclear, this is where I’m at right now.”
Embracing the Process
Reassessing isn’t about getting it “right.” It’s simply a moment of observation, like checking the weather outside a window. Whatever you see—or don’t see—is valid and gives you valuable information about your emotional state.
With EFT, the key is to meet yourself exactly where you are, without judgment. Each round of tapping is an opportunity to release emotional charge, layer by layer, until the window becomes clearer, or you feel ready to pause for now.
What do you think about this analogy? Have you noticed moments of clarity or uncertainty when reassessing during EFT? I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to explore EFT with personalized guidance, feel free to reach out—I’d be happy to help!
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers, in a way that’s tailored to your unique needs and goals.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.