Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 201.
From time to time, it can be surprisingly helpful to use EFT while simply letting ourselves vent. Not in the sense of spiraling into rumination, but in the sense of giving honest expression to the anger we might feel about someone else’s behavior.
Many people feel uneasy about doing this. They worry that focusing on anger will make it stronger or reinforce it. Yet in practice, allowing the anger to have a voice while tapping often creates space for it to release.
When we tap while leaning into the feeling (even swearing if necessary), something interesting tends to happen. The emotion gets a chance to move through the body rather than staying bottled up. Sometimes the shift is noticeable right away. Other times it is more subtle, and we might realize a couple of days later that the emotional charge around the situation has softened.
During this process, it is not especially important to determine whether the anger is justified or perfectly accurate. The goal is simply to give the feeling somewhere to go. Anger that has no outlet often ends up being suppressed or invalidated internally. On the other hand, acting directly from anger can create consequences that make situations worse. Tapping offers a middle ground where the feeling can be expressed safely.
One way to think about this is to imagine giving the microphone to the angry teenager part of ourselves. That part may exaggerate, complain, or see things in black and white. At the same time, there is often some truth in what it feels. Even if the perspective is not perfectly balanced, it usually reflects a part of us that felt hurt, dismissed, or treated unfairly.
When that part finally feels heard, the emotional intensity often begins to settle. As the charge decreases, clarity tends to emerge on its own. Compassion sometimes appears as well, though it does not have to be forced. It simply becomes easier to see the situation from a wider perspective once the nervous system is calmer.
This can make a big difference the next time we interact with the person who triggered the anger. Instead of carrying a tightly held emotional reaction, we often feel that some of the pressure has already been released. The anger is no longer something we have to constantly suppress or hold back, because the emotional charge around it has already softened.
In that sense, giving anger the microphone for a few minutes while tapping can be a very practical form of emotional hygiene. It allows us to acknowledge what we feel, release some of the intensity, and move forward with more freedom in how we respond.
That being said, it’s not always easy to do this by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.
If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free introductory session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can learn more here.
