Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 197.
Self image has to do with how we perceive ourselves and how we feel about our appearance. And very often, that inner experience does not match how other people see us at all.
Someone might feel deeply ashamed of their nose, their hair, their body, or a specific feature, while most people barely notice it. In other cases, the thing we feel ashamed about is something others do notice. Either way, the emotional reaction we have when we look at ourselves in the mirror or see photos of ourselves can carry a lot of weight.
That unpleasant emotional charge can interfere with enjoying life, feeling confident, connecting with others, or simply being at ease in our own skin.
Many people try to deal with this by forcing themselves not to think negative thoughts about their appearance. Others focus on changing how they look, through styling, cosmetic procedures, or waiting for something to change, like hair growing back after a haircut. Both approaches make sense, but they are not always easy or available in the short term. And when the emotional charge is high, negative thoughts tend to come back again and again, no matter how hard we try to push them away.
This is where EFT Tapping can be helpful.
EFT Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a method that helps reduce and release the emotional charge attached to thoughts, memories, and experiences. Instead of trying to argue with our thoughts or replace them with positive ones, EFT works by allowing us to acknowledge what we actually feel while gently calming those parts of the brain that don’t respond to words or logic alone.
We do this by tapping on specific acupoints while placing our attention on whatever brings up discomfort, insecurity, or shame.
Tapping on Present Feelings
One place to start is with how you feel right now when you look at yourself.
For example, while looking in the mirror or thinking about your appearance, you might tap while focusing on a phrase like:
“When I look at myself in the mirror and see my hair like this, I feel really insecure and uncomfortable, and this is where I’m at right now”.
The goal here is not to convince yourself to like what you see. It is simply to stay with your actual emotional experience while tapping, which helps the nervous system settle.
Tapping on Memories
Sometimes the way we feel about our appearance is connected to past comments or experiences that left a mark. These could be remarks made years ago, moments of teasing, bullying, or subtle criticism that still carry emotional charge.
For example:
“When I remember what they said about my nose that day, I feel really sad and exposed, and this is where I’m at right now”.
Tapping on these memories helps release the emotional intensity attached to them, even though the memory itself remains. If the memories feel overwhelming, especially when they involve bullying or discrimination, working with a trauma informed EFT practitioner can provide important support.
Tapping on Comparisons
Another common source of distress around self image is comparison. Seeing others and feeling like we fall short can trigger feelings of hopelessness, envy, or inadequacy.
For example:
“When I see how good she looks, I feel hopeless and heavy in my chest, because I’ll never look like that, and this is where I’m at right now”.
Again, the intention is not to judge or suppress these reactions, but to allow them to be processed so they lose their grip.
Creating More Ease With Yourself
By tapping on these specific thoughts, sensations, and emotions, EFT helps reduce the emotional charge that keeps self image struggles alive. As that charge softens, many people notice they feel calmer, more neutral, or less reactive when they see themselves or think about their appearance.
From that place, confidence often returns more naturally. Not because we forced ourselves to feel good, but because we removed what was getting in the way of feeling at ease with ourselves.
Over time, EFT can help you build a kinder and more stable relationship with your self image, even while external circumstances are still changing.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I help you release emotional triggers and build sustainable confidence in a safe space tailored to you.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.
