Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 194.
A question I see come up often is whether rumination can be healed, especially when it involves years of replaying painful moments. Many people describe getting stuck in loops of thoughts about past situations where they felt ashamed, powerless, or unable to protect their boundaries. These thoughts can feel relentless, as if the mind keeps revisiting the same scenes over and over.
A common concern is whether EFT is only useful for processing single, isolated traumatic events. The short answer is no. EFT can be very effective for rumination as well.
What Keeps Rumination Going
What usually keeps ruminating thoughts alive is not the thoughts themselves, but the emotional charge still attached to the memories being replayed. The mind is not randomly torturing us. It is repeatedly bringing up material that has not yet been emotionally processed.
As long as that emotional charge remains, the nervous system continues to treat those memories as unresolved and relevant. EFT helps us gently release that charge. As this happens, the thoughts often become less frequent, less intense, and shorter lasting, or they lose their grip altogether.
You Do Not Have to Process Everything at Once
When rumination involves a long chain of events spanning many years, it can feel overwhelming to even know where to start. The good news is that EFT does not require working through everything at once. In fact, it usually works better when we take it one piece at a time.
A helpful place to begin is with one moment from that chain that feels emotionally active right now. Not the entire story, just one situation that stands out.
You then tap on how you feel in the present moment when you think about it. For example:
“When I remember that situation, I feel a lot of shame and agitation because I did not protect my boundaries, and this is where I’m at right now”.
You are not trying to fix the past, force insight, or make the feelings go away. You are simply sitting with how it feels now, as if “giving it the microphone”, while tapping.
Following the Next Layer
After a few rounds of tapping, pause and notice what has shifted. Sometimes the intensity softens. Other times a different feeling shows up, such as anger, sadness, grief, or frustration. That new feeling becomes the next layer of the onion to tap on.
This is how EFT gradually unwinds rumination. Not by arguing with the thoughts, but by tending to the emotions that keep feeding them.
Keeping the Work Gentle
If zooming in on specific memories feels too intense, it is completely okay to zoom out. For example:
“Just thinking about working on this brings up a lot of overwhelm, and this is where I’m at right now”.
This approach keeps the work within your window of tolerance and helps prevent emotional flooding.
When Support Can Help
Some ruminative patterns, especially those linked to long-term boundary violations or deep shame, can feel very hard to work with alone. In those cases, working with a trauma-informed EFT practitioner can be especially helpful. Having support can make it easier to find the right pace, stay grounded, and avoid getting overwhelmed.
A Different Relationship With Thoughts
EFT does not try to stop thoughts directly. Instead, it works with the emotional fuel beneath them. As that fuel is released, the mind naturally settles.
In that sense, EFT is well suited for rumination. It helps transform repetitive mental loops by addressing what keeps them alive in the first place. Sometimes the nervous system is reacting as if those past moments are still happening now.
Other times, the rumination is fueled by regret, by the “should have, could have, would have” thoughts that keep replaying. By working with the emotional charge behind both the memory and the regret, EFT helps the nervous system settle, making it easier to feel more at peace with the past and more present in the here and now.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I help you release emotional triggers and build sustainable confidence in a safe space tailored to you.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.
