Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 191.
From time to time, some of my clients tell me something like:
“I have so many memories I could tap on. I really do not want to dig up the past.”
This is a very understandable concern. Not everyone wants to revisit specific memories, and in many cases, it is not necessary to do so in order for EFT to be helpful.
One option within EFT is to work directly with the inner child or younger self, without needing to know what the memory is about or even when it happened.
You Do Not Need the Whole Story
When working in this way, all that is required is a general sense of where the inner child is. For example, some people might sense their inner child in their bedroom, at school, or somewhere else. Others may not visualize the inner child at all, and that is completely fine.
You might have an auditory sense, a bodily feeling, or simply an intuitive knowing that the younger part of you is “there.” EFT does not require clear images. A vague sense is more than enough.
Different Ways of Tapping With the Inner Child
There are several ways we can tap while working with the inner child, and we always choose the option that feels safest and most natural for the client:
- The client taps on themselves while imagining the inner child tapping on themselves as well.
- If the inner child does not feel willing or able to tap, the client taps on themselves on behalf of the inner child.
- The client imagines gently tapping on the inner child, much like tapping on a child to help them feel calmer and safer.
There is no “correct” way to do this. What matters is choosing the approach that feels the least intrusive and the most supportive in that moment.
Listening Without Forcing
I then invite clients to ask the inner child how they are feeling right now. If the inner child does not respond with words, that is okay too. We can simply get a sense of how they might be feeling emotionally or physically.
The tapping phrases we use usually follow a structure like this:
“Even though you are feeling very sad right now, I want you to know that I am here with you”.
“Even though you feel scared and alone, I want you to know that you are safe right now”.
“Even though this feels really hard, I want you to know I love you and I am not going anywhere”.
These phrases are not meant to fix or override anything. They are simply a way of offering kind attention and emotional presence, without invalidating the younger self’s feelings.
After each round of tapping, I invite the client to notice what they notice, including any “next layers of the onion” that may be coming up for their younger self. That is what we tap on next. We continue this process until the inner child feels settled enough for the time being.
Healing Without Digging
In this way, we can bring care, validation, and safety to the inner child’s emotional wounds, even if we do not know exactly what the memory is about. Often, the nervous system responds to the feeling of being seen and supported, without needing the full story to be uncovered.
For many people, this approach feels much gentler than going memory by memory. It allows healing to happen at a pace that feels respectful and contained, while still addressing what needs attention.
Sometimes, meeting the inner child with kindness and validation is enough to begin the process.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I help you release emotional triggers and build sustainable confidence in a safe space tailored to you.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.
