Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 188.
I was recently watching a TED Talk by Shauna Shapiro on mindfulness. In it, she described her early experience with mindfulness practice. At first, she believed it was about paying attention to her thoughts and feelings and staying present moment by moment. But instead of feeling calm, she found herself becoming increasingly frustrated by how often her mind wandered.
A monk eventually said to her, “What you are practicing right now is judgment, frustration, and impatience. And what you practice grows stronger.” That sentence changed everything for her. She realized that mindfulness is not simply about attention. It is about kind attention.
This idea feels very aligned with what we do in EFT.
Why EFT Is Also a Practice of Kind Attention
In EFT, we are not just bringing awareness to our thoughts and feelings while tapping through the points. We are bringing kind awareness. This includes the willingness to notice even the judgmental or resistant parts of ourselves with gentleness rather than criticism.
This is also the purpose of the balancing statements we often use, such as:
“Even though I feel this way, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Or, when that feels too big or unrealistic:
“This is where I am right now.”
These statements help soften our stance toward ourselves. They remind us that the goal is not to fight our experience, but to stay with it compassionately.
Why Kind Attention Makes Tapping More Effective
One of the simplest truths in EFT is that the more we can allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling, and think what we are thinking, the better the tapping tends to work.
What we resist tends to persist.
The more we judge or fight our experience, the tighter it holds on.
The more we can bring kind attention to it, the more easily it begins to shift.
It can help to imagine that each thought or feeling simply wants the microphone for a moment. Not to take over the entire meeting, but just to be heard. When we offer that kind attention while tapping, the emotional charge begins to release, and the system relaxes instead of bracing.
Growing What We Practice
If mindfulness strengthens what we repeatedly practice, then EFT works best when we are practicing gentleness, permission, and honesty about where we are right now. In that state, tapping becomes far more than a technique. It becomes a way of relating to ourselves with warmth and acceptance.
And that kindness is often the ingredient that makes a difference.
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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers in a way that feels safe and tailored to your unique needs.
If you’d like to experience a free EFT Tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview, click here.
