Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 182.
When faced with situations we cannot control, it is common to think, “What’s the point of tapping on this if there’s nothing I can do to change it?” Whether it’s being stuck in a job that feels draining, a complicated family situation, or a relationship that feels challenging but can’t easily be left, the truth is that EFT can still be deeply beneficial.
Why Tap When Nothing Can Be Changed?
EFT is not only about creating change on the outside; it’s about cultivating peace and clarity on the inside. Even if a situation cannot be changed right now, tapping can help us process the emotions we have about it, reduce our stress response, and often bring more acceptance or perspective.
When we allow ourselves to sit with our real thoughts and feelings about what is happening, while gently tapping through the points, we create space for new layers of awareness to emerge. These may include:
- The sadness or frustration we feel about being stuck.
- The beliefs that come up when we think about the situation, such as “I never get what I want,” “I’m not smart enough to fix this,” or “God has abandoned me.”
- Older memories that share the same emotional tone — times when we felt trapped, unheard, or unsupported.
By meeting ourselves exactly where we are, we often find that the emotional charge starts to soften, even if the outer situation remains the same.
When Old Wounds Get Triggered
Sometimes the pain we feel is not only about the current situation, but also about old wounds being reactivated. A present-day experience can echo moments from the past when we felt powerless or alone. When those memories arise, we can tap on them as well.
For example:
- “When I think about this job and how stuck I feel, it reminds me of being a child and feeling like my opinion didn’t matter. And it brings up this sadness in my chest. And this is where I’m at right now.”
- “When I think about how unfair this feels, I remember all those times when I tried so hard, and no one noticed. I get this mental image of my younger self crying alone in her room, and I have this feeling of hopelessness in my belly. And this is where I’m at right now.”
By tapping on these layers, we help release the stored emotional charge from both the past and the present.
Finding Peace and Clarity
As we tap, one of two things often happens. Sometimes we gain clarity about a small action we can take that we had not considered before. Other times, we simply find more peace with the situation as it is.
Either way, this brings us closer to what the Serenity Prayer describes:
“Grant me the courage to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
EFT can support us in embodying that balance.
A Way Forward
Even when life presents us with circumstances we cannot immediately change, we can still find relief by giving voice to our honest thoughts and feelings, one tapping round at a time. Sometimes that alone creates enough inner space for the situation to look and feel different.
Tapping on what we cannot control does not mean giving up. It means meeting life as it is, with curiosity, compassion, and the possibility of peace.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers that keep you stuck in old emotional patterns — in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’re curious about what it’s like to work with a practitioner and are exploring the possibility of having EFT sessions with someone, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session for those who’ve never worked with me before.
It’s a gentle, no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it feels like a good fit.
Click here to learn more and book your session, or feel free to reach out if you have questions.