Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 180.
When I say that I practice EFT in a trauma-informed way, what does that mean? At its core, being trauma-informed means being aware of the existence of trauma and the possibility of retraumatization, and acting in ways that minimize that risk during our work together.
What Trauma Really Is
Traumatic experiences are often those that overwhelm our capacity, arrive unexpectedly, feel isolating, and threaten our sense of survival or identity. Another important element is that trauma is something we do not consent to. Because of this, a trauma-informed approach places consent at the center of everything.
Consent and Choice
The more I can meet my clients exactly where they are, without pushing or forcing them to do or say anything they do not want to (or that a part of them does not want to), the more trauma-informed our work becomes. This includes explaining beforehand what we are going to do, letting them know that they always have a choice about whether to tap on something that comes up, and checking with them if a phrase feels right or if they would prefer different words.
Even if a practitioner has integrity and good intentions, that does not guarantee they will avoid retraumatizing someone if they are not trauma-informed. Meeting clients where they are is key, and this includes validating all the parts of them that may have concerns or apprehension, rather than dismissing them.
Finding the Right “Temperature”
Anything that feels forced, pressured, or dismissive can become overwhelming or unpleasant. That is why I emphasize going at the client’s pace. We do not need to tap on anything that feels like too much. In fact, EFT often works better when we keep the emotional “temperature” just right.
I often use two analogies to describe this:
- The Cup of Tea Analogy: What we focus on during tapping should not be too cold (no emotional charge at all) or too hot (overwhelming intensity). If it feels too hot, we can “zoom out,” soften the language, or even tap silently.
- The Bonfire Analogy: Imagine standing by a campfire at night. To feel warmth, you need to be close enough, but not so close that you burn yourself. Depending on the size of the fire (the emotional intensity), you might need to stand farther back at times.
Both analogies capture the same principle: healing happens best when we keep things manageable.
In practice, this balance shows up in different ways. It is totally okay to cry in a session. Crying can sometimes feel like a release. On the other hand, if it feels too intense, overwhelming, or dysregulating, then we can zoom out even further and tap while focusing on something pleasant, neutral, or even boring, in order to send cues of safety to the nervous system and come back to a more regulated state.
We could say that EFT is a modality that helps us process unpleasant thoughts, memories, and feelings by allowing ourselves to sit with them while we tap. The tapping itself, along with a balancing statement such as “And this is where I’m at right now,” makes this easier. If at any point it feels like too much, we can simply drop the words and shift our attention to something neutral or pleasant instead, while continuing to tap through the points.
For example, you might:
- Gaze out the window and notice the trees, the sky, or the movement of clouds.
- Focus on the sound of birds chirping or other everyday background noises.
- Pay attention to your breath moving gently in and out.
- Bring to mind a calming image, like sitting by the ocean or in a quiet park.
- Think about something mundane, like folding laundry or washing dishes.
Even a small shift in focus can help send cues of safety to the nervous system, allowing you to stay regulated while you continue tapping.
Giving the Microphone to Every Part
Another key aspect of being trauma-informed is reducing pressure. That includes the pressure to feel better quickly. Instead, I encourage clients to “give the microphone” to whatever thoughts, feelings, or parts of them show up.
This is what I call The Townhall Meeting Analogy. If someone at a meeting is raising their hand but never gets the microphone because their view is seen as “too negative,” frustration builds and they might disrupt the meeting. But if they are allowed to speak, they often feel relief simply from being heard. The same applies to our emotions. For example:
- “When I think about this, I feel so angry I could punch a wall.”
- “This is so unfair, I can’t take it anymore.”
Tapping while giving voice to these raw feelings helps them shift safely. It does not mean you will act on them, it simply allows them to move through you instead of getting stuck.
A Gentle, Safer Way Forward
Finally, I believe we do not need to actively search for trauma. It is often safer to begin with recent memories or imagined future scenarios connected to the issue at hand. If an earlier traumatic memory comes up naturally, the client can decide whether to address it right then or set it aside until they feel ready (if ever).
Being trauma-informed is not about rigid rules. It is about creating a space where clients feel safe, respected, and in control. By emphasizing consent, pacing, and compassion, EFT becomes not only a method for processing and relief but also a way of relating to ourselves that is gentle, sustainable, and deeply respectful of our humanity. At its best, EFT is a safe relationship with ourselves, grounded in compassion and choice.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers that keep you stuck in old emotional patterns — in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’re curious about what it’s like to work with a practitioner and are exploring the possibility of having EFT sessions with someone, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session for those who’ve never worked with me before.
It’s a gentle, no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it feels like a good fit.
Click here to learn more and book your session, or feel free to reach out if you have questions.
