Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 177.
When we practice EFT, we often start by choosing a specific memory or imagined future scenario that is related to the issue we want to address. We then notice what emotions arise as we focus on it. This is already a powerful beginning.
But there is another step that can make the process even more effective: asking ourselves, What thought or phrase accompanies this emotion?
Getting to the Unfiltered Thought
The goal here is not to dress things up with euphemisms or make the thought sound reasonable. It is to identify the blunt “truth” as it feels in the moment, even if we know logically that the thought is not objectively true.
Our logical mind might say, “That’s exaggerated” or “That’s silly.” But if the thought carries emotional charge, it is worth giving it a voice. By including it in our tapping, we create space for the nervous system to process it and let it shift.
An Example: Exam Anxiety
Imagine you are a university student about to take a big exam. When you think about it, you feel anxious. Now, ask yourself, What thought goes along with this anxiety?
Perhaps the thought is, “If I fail this exam, I’d rather die!”
Logically, you know this is not true. But emotionally, it feels charged. So instead of ignoring or dismissing it, you can “give the microphone” to that thought while you tap. For example:
- “When I think about this upcoming exam, I feel anxious and I think ‘If I fail this exam, I’d rather die,’ and this is where I’m at right now.”
By tapping with that phrase, you are allowing the nervous system to feel heard. Often, the intensity of both the thought and the emotion begins to soften.
Why This Works
Emotions and thoughts are intertwined. When we name the thought that is fueling the emotion, we get closer to the root of what feels threatening. Even if the words are dramatic or harsh, giving them a voice in a safe and structured way lets the system know that it is okay to feel what it feels.
As a result, the emotional charge behind the thought can begin to release. From there, both the thought and the emotion naturally shift into something less overwhelming and more balanced.
A Gentle Reminder
There is no need to censor or filter what comes up. The tapping process is not about proving whether a thought is “true” or “false.” It is about creating a safe space for your inner experience to be acknowledged. Once it is given that space, change often happens on its own.
Sample Tapping Statements
Here are a few more examples of blunt, emotionally charged thoughts that can be useful to include in tapping:
- Conflict with a partner:
“There’s a part of me that wants to yell at my partner, ‘You never listen to me, and I’m so sick of it!’ and this is where I’m at right now.” - Fear of rejection:
“When I imagine asking for what I want and being told no, the thought that comes up is ‘Nobody ever wants me,’ and this is where I’m at right now.” - Work mistake:
“When I think about the mistake I made at work, I feel this pit in my stomach and the thought is, ‘I’ll never be taken seriously again,’ and this is where I’m at right now.” - Self-criticism:
“When I think about how long I’ve struggled with this issue, the thought is, ‘I’m pathetic for still being stuck here,’ and this is where I’m at right now.”
By naming the uncensored thought and including it in your tapping, you give your system the opportunity to process the emotional charge behind it. This often brings more relief than trying to work only with the surface-level emotion.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers that keep you stuck in old emotional patterns — in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’re curious about what it’s like to work with a practitioner and are exploring the possibility of having EFT sessions with someone, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session for those who’ve never worked with me before.
It’s a gentle, no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it feels like a good fit.
Click here to learn more and book your session, or feel free to reach out if you have questions.
