Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 172.
The fear of making mistakes is one of those emotions that can quietly limit us in more ways than we realize. It can show up in how we work, how we relate to others, and even in how we learn. And for those of us who are therapists, coaches, or practitioners, it can feel particularly intense—because we deeply care about the people we support and want to provide the best service possible.
But here’s the challenge:
When the fear of making mistakes takes over, it becomes harder to calmly assess how we’re doing and what we could improve. Instead of learning with curiosity and clarity, we may become self-critical or shut down altogether.
Where This Fear Comes From
This fear often doesn’t start in adulthood. Many of us learned early on—sometimes through subtle messages, sometimes through painful experiences—that mistakes weren’t okay. That getting things wrong came with consequences: disapproval, embarrassment, or even punishment.
For example, some people can relate to being proud of getting a B+ on a test, only to hear their parent (often with good intentions) ask:
“Why didn’t you get an A?”
Others might remember being humiliated by a teacher in front of the class, or being harshly corrected by a boss for something small. These experiences can stick with us and build up over time. Even if we know better now, the emotional charge from those moments might still be active in our system, and that’s often what makes mistakes feel like such high stakes.
Where EFT Comes In
EFT is not about “erasing” the past, but it can help us process and release the emotional weight we still carry from it.
You might begin by tapping on more recent experiences—perhaps a time when you were afraid of making a mistake, or a moment when you felt you did something wrong and spiraled into self-criticism.
You could also tap on imagined future scenarios:
“When I picture myself saying the wrong thing to a client and them losing trust in me, I feel tightness in my chest and a sinking feeling in my stomach. And this is where I’m at right now.”
As you give voice to these fears, other layers may emerge—such as memories of those earlier moments where you learned it wasn’t safe to mess up. Those too can be tapped on, gently and at your own pace.
For example:
“When I remember being called out in front of the class for making a mistake, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. And this is where I’m at right now.”
What If I Lose Motivation?
Some parts of us might be afraid that if we let go of the fear of making mistakes, we’ll stop trying, become careless, or lower our standards. This is another great area to explore with tapping.
“There’s a part of me that believes if I stop fearing mistakes, I’ll start slacking off. And this is just where I’m at right now.”
But in reality, the fear of mistakes tends to make growth harder, not easier. It keeps us in survival mode, where we’re more focused on avoiding failure than on learning. Think about learning a new language: if every time you get a word wrong you beat yourself up, that learning process becomes a lot more stressful. Whereas if you can stay patient, take the feedback, and adjust with kindness, you’re more likely to improve—and enjoy the process.
Final Thoughts
Mistakes are part of being human. And EFT can help us release the shame, fear, and pressure we’ve associated with them. By tapping with the intention of being present with our feelings—rather than trying to force them away—we can make space for greater clarity, self-compassion, and true growth.
If you’d like support in exploring this process, feel free to reach out. I’d be happy to connect.
I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. Helping you manage emotional reactions and release triggers in a way that feels safe and tailored to your preferences and needs.
If you’ve never worked with me and you’d like to experience how this works in a session, I currently offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. It’s a gentle, no-pressure way to experience how this works and see if it’s a good fit for you. Feel free to reach out if that interests you, or click here.