Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 103.
In EFT, asking the right questions can significantly enhance the effectiveness of the session. Let’s explore one particularly useful question that can improve our specificity and effectiveness.
One key to effective EFT tapping is focusing precisely on the issue at hand. This often involves identifying a “specific event,” like a recent memory or an imagined future scenario related to the issue we’re working on. We then tune into the feelings or emotions that surface in the present moment when thinking about it. However, there’s a particular question we can ask ourselves or our clients that can sharpen this focus even further.
The question is: “What about this memory/future scenario makes you feel that way?” By zeroing in on the core aspects of the memory, we can address them one at a time. Let’s look at a couple of examples to illustrate this.
Imagine working with a client on an upsetting high school memory they often think about. If they feel embarrassed as they reflect on it now, we can ask, “What about this memory is making you feel that way?” The answer might be something specific, like, “Diane made a joke at my expense in front of the whole class, and it was so humiliating!” A setup phrase might then be: “Even though I feel embarrassed remembering when Diane made that joke at my expense in front of the whole class, it was so humiliating, and I feel this embarrassment in my face, this is just where I’m at right now.”
Consider another scenario: a client’s fear of driving. We help them imagine driving to their parents’ house. As they envision this, they feel fear and tightness in their chest. Asking, “What about this scenario makes you feel afraid?” might elicit a response like, “I imagine a huge truck behind me, driving too close; it’s intimidating and I’m scared it might hit me if I slow down.”
The setup phrase for this could be: “Even though I feel afraid imagining driving to my parents’ house, with a truck behind me, intimidating and close, I’m scared it might hit me if I slow down, and I feel this fear and tightness in my chest, this is just where I’m at right now”.
Focusing on these specifics helps us track “shifting aspects,” a common occurrence in EFT where the mind moves to the next emotionally charged aspect. For instance, after the first round about the high school memory, the client might feel anger towards Diane for damaging her reputation. In the driving scenario, the next aspect might be fear of another driver honking at them and getting very nervous as a result of that.
To recap, identifying a specific event is very helpful in EFT, but zooming in a bit more by asking what aspect of the event triggers emotions can enhance our results even further. This approach helps us navigate through the layers of emotion, addressing each aspect effectively without overwhelming our clients.
And that’s it for today! I’m Bruno Sade, a compassionate, open-minded clinical psychologist, and certified EFT practitioner. My approach is tailored to your individual needs and preferences, always respecting your experiences, beliefs, and background.
What are your thoughts on today’s topic? How do you relate to the importance of specific questioning in EFT? Feel free to share your experiences, questions, or suggestions for future topics. You can either leave a comment below or send a private message. Remember to follow my profile to stay updated on my latest posts.