Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 105.
As EFT practitioners, we can use EFT Tapping to assist clients facing life-changing decisions when they feel torn. I’m talking about decisions like staying at their current job or taking a new one; staying with their current romantic partner or ending the relationship, etc.
Because as human beings none of us know exactly what is going to happen in the future, in situations like these where the stakes are high, our fears about making the wrong decision and regretting it later can often increase the stress we feel having to decide. These unpleasant emotions can sometimes cloud our judgment and the access to our intuition.
How can we assist clients in these situations? Here’s something I learned from EFT Master Trainer of Trainers Alina Frank. We can help them come up with a negative imagined scenario taking any one of the paths available to them, and then diminish or release the unpleasant emotions and feelings that come up for them when thinking about it. And we can then do the same imagining they were to take the other path.
Let’s use the example of helping a client who doesn’t know whether to stay at his current job or take a new one. We could ask him: “What negative thing might happen if you were to stay at your current job that would make you regret having made that decision?”. Let’s see if we can help him come up with a specific “scene”, for example, “I imagine myself 5 years from now, talking to my wife who would like us to go on a vacation, but because I never got a promotion at this job, we cannot afford it, and I’m seeing the look of disappointment in her face”.
The next question is “What feeling or emotion comes up for you when imagining this scenario?” That’s what you apply EFT on. A setup statement could be something like: “Even though I feel powerless, imagining having stayed at my current job, and 5 years later my wife would like us to go on a trip together, but because I never got a promotion we can’t afford to do that, and she looks so disappointed, I feel this powerlessness in my chest area, and this is just where I’m at right now”.
As usual, after each round we want to stop and reassess, and see if we need to change any of the words for the next round, in case the client’s mind has moved on to another “emotionally charged aspect”. These “shifting aspects” are usually the next layer of the onion.
Eventually we might want to ask them: “Now let’s imagine you leave your current job and take a new one, what negative thing might happen in that case?”. Again, the more specific the “scene” (as if it was something we could watch on a movie) the better. He might respond with: “Well, I imagine myself two months from now, and it turns out the work atmosphere at my new job is horrible, and my boss keeps shouting at me. I can imagine myself regretting not having stayed at my current job, where at least they treat me relatively ok”.
So, the next question is: “What feeling or sensation comes up for you now as you imagine this scenario?”. A setup statement could sound something like: “Even though I feel frustrated, imagining myself two months from now after I took this other job, and it turns out the work atmosphere is horrible and my boss keeps yelling at me, and I’m thinking “I should have never left my previous job, at least they treated me ok there!”, I feel this frustration in my stomach area, and this is just where I’m at right now”.
Clients often begin having empowering thoughts during this process. They might realize that, with their skills, they could find another job relatively quickly if things don’t work out, without waiting for five years. This might bring some relief and diffuse some of the pressure they are feeling about making the right decision.
In conclusion, as we help our clients tap on the different emotionally charged thoughts and feelings that come up for them thinking about these negative scenarios of what might go wrong if they were to take either path available to them, they might start gaining more awareness of how they could prepare for these adverse circumstances and hopefully prevent them. As the emotional intensity lessens, they might gain more clarity regarding their heart’s desire and in what ways they could reduce the risk of making the ‘wrong’ choice.
And that’s it for today! I’m Bruno Sade, a compassionate, open-minded clinical psychologist, and certified EFT practitioner. My approach is tailored to your individual needs and preferences, always respecting your experiences, beliefs, and background.
What are your thoughts on today’s topic? Have you tried applying EFT to assist someone in making a decision? Feel free to share your experiences, questions, or suggestions for future topics. You can either leave a comment below or send a private message.