Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 87.
If you’ve been studying EFT for a while you’ve probably come across the term “Borrowing Benefits”. The idea behind “Borrowing Benefits” is that individuals can experience relief from their own issues by tapping along while watching or listening to another person go through an EFT session, even if the issues being addressed are different.
This concept was discovered by chance in the early days of EFT when people in the audience would tap along while watching the live demo session, so that the demo subject wouldn’t be the only one tapping. Many were pleasantly surprised to find out they felt relief in some of their issues, even though they were different to the issues worked on in the demo.
The exact mechanism behind Borrowing Benefits remains a mystery. It might be because of “mirror neurons” (brain cells that fire both when we perform an action and when we observe the same action performed by others, aiding in understanding and imitating behaviors) creating an emotional resonance. Or maybe our subconscious mind is very skilled at finding parallels between the other person’s issues and our own, even if they seem to be quite different. But it’s a useful phenomenon we can take advantage of in our own tapping. Today I’m going to suggest a way of doing that.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tap by ourselves: “coming up with the right words”, remaining “tuned in” while tapping, etc. can all be challenging. A practitioner can help us do all these things, but that’s not always available at all times. In those cases we can try to use “Borrowing Benefits” in our favor.
There are many excellent EFT sessions uploaded on youtube. One such playlist, “EFT from A to Z”, was created by EFT Master Trainer Alina Frank and contains more than 25 sessions that you can watch and tap along. Here’s the link if you want to check it out: EFT: A to Z Video Series [A]: Accountability Coaching
Here’s my recommendation though: don’t just watch it and tap along, completely mindlessly, without knowing “what exactly you want to borrow benefits for”. This works better if we are a bit more focused and intentional. Choose a relevant event related to your issue, like an upcoming presentation at work if you’re working on ‘fear of public speaking.’ Before tapping along with the YouTube session, identify and assess the main thought and feeling that you are noticing the most when you think about this event. You can also measure the intensity of that feeling using a 0-10 scale.
Every couple of rounds stop to reassess. What do you notice about that thought and/or feeling (connected to that recent or future specific event) now? Has it decreased in intensity? Is there another thought and/or feeling coming up? If so, that can become the new ‘target’ for the borrowing benefits.
All you have to do is tap along to the youtube session. Ideally, while you are tapping along, you are mostly focusing on the youtube session (even if it doesn’t seem related to your own issues and experiences). When I do it myself though, I notice my mind is partly focusing on the session I’m watching and partly thinking about the issue/event I chose to borrow benefits for, but it tends to work anyway.
If you want you can write down on a piece of paper what event/aspect you are setting the intention to borrow benefits for, but I don’t think it’s really indispensable. What I would recommend prioritizing is to make sure you stop and reassess every so often what’s happening with the specific event you are attempting to make progress on.
Now, keep in mind that Borrowing Benefits cannot fully substitute the experience of working with someone else, especially for more complex or chronic issues, but it can be a great complement to do in between sessions and/or when tapping on your own.
And like I always say, if this seems too difficult to do on your own, consider enlisting the help of a certified practitioner like myself, or anyone else whose style you resonate with. A trained professional can guide you through the process and tailor the techniques to fit your unique needs.
And that’s it for today! I’m Bruno Sade, a compassionate, open-minded clinical psychologist, and certified EFT practitioner. My approach is tailored to your individual needs and preferences, always respecting your experiences, beliefs, and background.
What are your thoughts on today’s topic? Feel free to share questions, comments, or suggestions for future topics. You can either leave a comment below or send a private message.