Increasing your effectiveness with EFT, part 36.
Today I want to share with you something I’ve noticed in my own personal tapping. Let’s say that I’m experiencing an unpleasant emotional reaction, for example I’m feeling nervous or anxious about an upcoming meeting, and I notice that my body is shaking or trembling because of that nervousness.
If I start tapping on that nervousness with the intention to fix it or make it go away it usually doesn’t work very well. It’s kind of like that famous saying that goes: “What you resist, persists”. Yes, even if you are using EFT and saying the words “I accept myself” or “I accept this is how I feel” (without really meaning them).
However, if I tap on this unpleasant emotional reaction with the intention to just observe it and allow it to be there, in other words, to just be with that sensation/emotion without trying to fix it or go away, it tends to work a lot better. Now the important thing here is not to do this as a trick to make the unpleasant reaction/emotion/sensation finally go away. If instead we can actually get curious about it, and allow us to just be with it, it tends to finally shift somehow and no longer be stuck.
I believe that this applies to our emotions in general, regardless of whether we are using EFT or not. The more we resist our emotions, or try to avoid them, suppress them or make them go away, the more stuck they become. Whereas if we can somehow acknowledge them, honor them, express them (in a way that doesn’t harm ourselves or others) and/or just be with them, the more they tend to flow.
This curiosity and acceptance also invites the ventral vagal state of our nervous system, which is a physiological state that allows us to feel safe and connected, and therefore stay within our window of tolerance, as opposed to being in “survival mode”.
So, anyway, I’ve noticed that if I combine this mindset of “just observing what I’m feeling, allowing that feeling to be there, so that I can be with it” with the notion of “dropping into my body” while I’m tapping (that I talk about in part 32 of this series), the EFT process tends to be a lot more effective and enjoyable for me. In other words, by gently placing my attention on what I’m feeling in my body as I’m tapping and focusing on whatever is evoking an unpleasant emotional reaction, I can allow it to flow.
In this way, it’s like we are giving a voice to the part of us that’s feeling that emotion, rather than trying to dismiss it, fix it, or go away.
That’s it for today. I hope this article was helpful to you. My name is Bruno Sade, and I’m a certified EFT practitioner with a mental health background as a clinical psychologist licensed in Argentina. I use EFT as a tool to help people (who speak English or Spanish) change their negative emotional reactions.
And, I’d love to know: What are some useful and not so useful mindsets you’ve found when tapping by yourself? Do you have any questions or comments about what I wrote? Is there any particular topic you’d like me to write about? I’d love to know in the comments below.